i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
