Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
