You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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