So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
