i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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