My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
