Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
