Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
