I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize