I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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