you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize