First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
