fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
