I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
