Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize