I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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