no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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