i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
