that's an acceptable place to lick
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
