oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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