Its about making memories worth repressing
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
