i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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