Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
