Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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