i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
