Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My bed smells like the plague
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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