I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
