Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
