I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize