Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
