I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
