told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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