I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
