so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
