he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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