Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
His hands were made for my vagina.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
