Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I faked an abortion last night.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
