my phone needs a breathalizer
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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