you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
