When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
