Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
