one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
