I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
