i barfeds in our rink
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize