it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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