found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
please don't ironically join a cult
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