Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
