Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
