Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Your dad touched me again.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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