Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
