have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
This is my gift to your gina
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize