i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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