The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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