Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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