let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Congratulations! We have a period
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
