Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
