You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The air taste purple.
Randomize