I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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