Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
