you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
