I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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