My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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