My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize