bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
