i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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